"I won't call the cops on you if you don't call them on me!"
Hehe - That was hella cool. It's about 4am right now, and I'm home. Good thing I was. I'll tell you all why I had to call the cops tonight... :)
Ok about 3am I'm sitting right here, playing on the puter, talking to Angie, wishing and hoping I had done something useful tonight. Rachel and Megan were asleep. And then *~`CRASH!!!~* I thought, Crap! something serious just fell down. Whatever it was it woke Rachel up too, She had the good sense to look around out side. And turns out a car had crashed 5 feet from my bedroom window! Cool huh!
Well Rachel noticed him walking out in front heading to one of the neighbors. He was short, maybe 5'5" or so, kinda stalky, gimpy wrapped up arm, hispanic, with a wife beater and quite obviously drunk off his ass. I got off-line (sorry about that Angie!) and called the police. Told them what happened and as I did Rachel says, "Joel! he's getting in you car!!" I told the cops quickly as I handed the phone relay style off to Rachel and went outside. Still in my shirt from work ( which of course has a police looking badge on it ) I go out and knock on my own window and ask him what he thinks he's doing. He wobbles out of the door, and greets me. I asked him what he thought he was doing, he said he thought it was his car!! Standard drunk mentality. "I just wrecked my car. Where's another one?" Reaking of booze, and slurred speech he told me how sorry he was and again how he thought it was his car.(Yeah right...)
I tell him he's very very drunk and needs to get some rest. (All the while Rachel is giving the play-by-play to the Police on the phone) She told me later that she told them he looked like he was reaching in his pocket but that I was a JCO and recently trained for this sort of thing. And she was so right. I would have so rolled him if he tried something(found out later he had a pocket knife...) :D Then get this. He tells me, heey man, I won't call da cops on youz ifv you don call dem on mee oaky? I'm like, ok why would you be calling them on me??? lol Seriously funny shit. You can't make this sort of thing up!!
I'm not going to be chicken shit and tell him the neighbors probably already called the cops... I told him I already did. There was an accident. I did not know if he was ok or not, if he needed help of not so of course I called them. He seemed to be ok with that, we shook hands and he wandered off. A couple minutes later the cops show up. Can't find him, call back, we tell them, they confront him, even have a gun pulled on him. They take forever to cuff him and walk him back to a car and take him to go and see Frank, who happens to be working at the time. Then go back behind to check out the car.
It's very stuck. The whole place reaked of burning rubber where he tried to get out but failed. they ended up calling the tow, took them like an hour to yank it out. Guess what it was stuck on? One of those nifty phone routers! 10-15grand at least. Tore it out of the ground. Scratched up his very nice new car. nasty dent in the front and I'm sure some damage on the bottom. They finally got it out. But never got around to getting Rachel or I's statement. I was more then a little disappointed... I like Police men! I wanna be one soon! But oh well...
Well just talked to Frank over at the jail where they processed him. Get this. So drunk he broke the machine! Impressive! He was being mouthy and stupid and Frank about had to roll him too. One of the cops almost got to shoot him with the new tazers. Frank said that would have been cool cause he's wanted to see them work. So yeah, hardcore dumbass.
Over all a very interesting time. I almost feel sorry for the poor kid. But no, not really. You sit behind the wheel while drunk you deserve whatever you get. And if you kill someone... well lets just hope you go down too.
I have broke the law in my time. Alot. Some of you know just how much. But I've also grown up since then. The law is here to protect and help us. It enforced our freedoms and rights and is a statement for the American way and a protest to every pigfucker like Bin Laden belive in. Every time we disrespect the law, however insignificant we are letting bastards like Saddam or Bin Laden or every other mother fucker out there that wants to see the Stars and Strips burn, win.
I for one am not going to do that. So think about that next time you decide it's a good idea to break the law.
Later everyone. Be good. Talk to you all soon! | 
